Making Peace with Weight Gain
Hey guys! So look, let’s be real, if you are working through disordered eating, there’s a potential for weight gain. I’m not saying it always happens, but if anyone tells you they can predict what will happen to your weight when you stop dieting, they are lying. And trying to control your weight while trying to let go of disordered eating is incompatible with recovery – you can get to a pseudo-recovered state, but you’ll never be able to fully feel comfortable with food if you continue to manipulate your weight.
When I first gained weight, I was SO UNCOMFORTABLE. I hated every second of it. I felt huge. But now, I’m probably heavier than I was then (I honestly don’t remember!), but I feel good in my body and comfortable with the idea that this is where my body feels and functions best. Here are a few things that really helped me, and hopefully can help you too!
1. Stop stepping on the scale. If it’s a number you’re uncomfortable with, you could feel great when you wake up and have your whole day shattered just from one simple act. Don’t do it.
2. Similarly, stop staring in the mirror, looking for things to pick apart. We can ALL come up with flaws if we go looking for them. Do a quick check to make sure your shirt is buttoned and there’s no spinach in your teeth and MOVE ON.
3. Buy clothes that fit. Initially, I wore only oversized, shapeless clothes. I figured EVERYONE could see how much weight I had gained, and covering it felt safe. But honestly, those clothes just made me feel worse. Once I started buying appropriate fitting clothing that showed off my new body, I felt 10000x more confident.
4. Speaking of confidence, fake it ‘til you make it. When my body first changed, so did my entire personality. I started avoiding people, hiding, slouching, and being unsure of myself in all regards. These things just made me feel WORSE. Stand tall, walk with confidence, throw on some makeup and fancy heels if that works for you, go dancing, whatever it is that makes you feel good, DO IT. Even if it feels silly initially, it will start to feel authentic in time.
5. Find a way to move that you love. Movement can help you connect to your body in a way that isn’t about what you look like. I personally love weight training but also found yoga to be really amazing initially. Don’t focus on changing your body, focus on feeling empowered in your body.
6. Don’t focus on it. I felt like I ALWAYS had to bring it up before anyone else did. I’d meet friends for lunch and my first words would be “oh yea, I gained weight, haha” and make some excuse that I literally can’t even recall. You don’t owe anyone anything. If you feel like having a real conversation about it with a friend or family member will help, by all means. But don’t feel like you have to make excuses for your new body.
7. And, most importantly, focus on the other things that make you, YOU. You are so much more than your body/weight. Sometimes people forget that, especially if they’ve gotten attention for weight loss. But there is so much more to you than your body, and it’s important to start to love the things that make you who you are.
If you are struggling with food and/or body image issues, reach out or fill out my online application to work together! I’d love to hear from you.